My job = creative death

This is my first attempt to write anything in months. The main reason is manifested in my current job, which features 12 hour shifts, rotating from days to nights each week. The schedule is a rolling four week sort, and features two periods of 3 days off, one of 7, and one of 1... that's right, ONE day off between three 12 hour day shifts and three 12 hour night shifts. All shifts run from 5:30-5:45, just the AM & PM of 'em change. I have to start this way, all journal style on yo' collective (presently and for quite some time nonexistent) asses, (and I'd love to believe it's because I haven't written anything in a while, but I know it's simply because a blog this pathetic deserves to be ignored, so I guess it really is just a journal after all, only one I don't mind someone stumbling upon), because my brain-juices need jump starting and this is the only way I know how to do it. I'm on the last day of my seven days off, and it really does take this long to feel any semblance of my normal self creep back into existence. The other periods of time off from my job are long enough only to sleep and be frustrated with all the things I wanted to accomplish but was too exhausted to even begin working on. If you haven't worked at least 12 hour shifts (I know some people have it worse, the point is that it's fucked up for all of us), it may be difficult to understand just how completely it dominates your life. There is absolutely no free time on work days unless you skip meals or deprive yourself of much needed sleep. For someone like me who needs 10-12 hours of sleep to feel rested, deprivation is constant and cumulative until the days off, so sleeping most of those days is a necessity, not me being lazy. The brainwashing Americans receive from childhood on, in this case regarding work ethic, seems particularly disgusting these days! I know most of us are happy enough playing the game of capitalism in the USA as long as we can believe it's 'winnable', but shouldn't we all be pissed that the only options for not playing it involve homelessness, death, or as a compromise that is still basically playing the game, being kept? The idea of getting paid to do something I love has become irrelevant to me, because it's the game that's fucked, not my (or any other) job per se. The people are pleasant and easy to get along with, the product is very much part of the new(ish) green economy, and the business is growing. If I were evaluating it solely on those factors, and omitting schedule and the way-sub-standard-of-living wage, it'd be a job most conscientious folks could feel at least fine about. The thing is, it's just another part of the disease of greed that we all are afflicted with, and have become conditioned to accept. How can I and my peers work in a place where the schedule was clearly designed by a sadist or a robot, the company spends millions of dollars to automate everything, and presumably a fairly high price for the services of those who install, set up and prepare for operation said automation, and yet the people currently doing the work are paid more or less like indentured servants? We are constantly reminded of the value of just one of the items we work with in its half-processed state, and how said item's value is equal to the combined wages of all workers on any one shift. None of us could ever hope to afford the finished product, as is true with so many in-demand manufactured goods, without using credit and propping up the banking system that has so completely abused and failed the average citizen, and yet was deemed so very worthy of saving by our government, and not even with any significant conditions. So many in this country and around the world have it so much worse, and we are reminded of this constantly so that we feel guilty, greedy even, if we expect better for ourselves. We certainly don't have to tear the system down to change it, but we must demonstrate the ability to be willing non-participants if we are to affect change peacefully. What this country needs is not more regulation, or government, or bullshit. We need average citizens to realize that helping the rich not to pay more taxes is not going to get any middle-to-lower class worker an extra dime in the long run. We need to stop paying taxes, using credit, and if need be, walk out on our jobs en masse - whatever it takes to get this country and others who need a kick in the pants to realize that people are valuable and deserve some respect. I want to contribute to a strong, healthy country and world, but I need to be able to be strong and healthy first, and right now that is a luxury in America, and not even remotely close to a right.